Write What You Snow About

February 2, 2020

 

 

We’ve lived in Northern New Jersey for many years and OMG are we looking forward to moving South.

 

The mountains are beautiful and provide so much land to explore with trails, rivers, and lakes to behold, but in the wintertime, we get snow.

 

Pondering the thought of snow - it’s white and beautiful to see but in reality it really just slows down the entire precipitation process. I still have snow in my garden in the back yard and it hasn’t snowed for a few weeks. What a waste of water just sitting there in my backyard. If it melted, surly it would benefit some grubs or earthworms in the soil.

 

Snow shovels are a real issue. So sometime in July after tripping over the snow shovels in the garage, I put the two I own into the shed in the back yard. Elated, I think to myself, Glad that’s over, won’t have to worry about that for a while. I have a cup of coffee, blink my eyes, and November is here dumping 14 inches of snow on my frozen driveway. On with the snow gear and out to the garage, and oh shit, the shovels are in the shed in the back yard. It is at those times that I wish I had a snow shovel to dig out the shed doors so that I could get to the snow shovels I need. After 20 years, I’ve learned to enjoy tripping over the snow shovels in the garage; they never make it to the shed.

 

I think that the snow is good for the dog, cause’ he goes nuts when he’s in it. It appears that the spots he likes are clearly marked until the snow melts, if it ever melts. Fun fact, snowballs are apparently just as amusing as tennis balls according to our dog.

 

I will admit that the only reason that I can tolerate the snow is because I have a monster snow blower. I fire that mother up and snow blow everything in my way, the driveway, mailbox, half the yard on my way to the deck, the deck, and if could get it on the roof, I’d snow blow that sucker too. Love that machine. I think I’ll bring it down south with me and make a mailbox out of it. I could start it up and shred any spam mail immediately.

 

As a sci- fi writer, I started wondering why we never see alien flying saucers crashing in snow filled areas? It appears that the desert or some warm climate is the location of their choice. I’ve watched just about every alien show known to man and I don’t recall ever seeing an alien in snow boots or wearing a parka. This leads me to believe that they actually are of higher intelligence. They don’t like the snow either, and I bet they don’t have snow shovels on board In case of an emergency either. They are much smarter than that.

 

That said, it appears that I am continuing to evolve and I’m heading south to a climate where you can’t shovel sunshine and snow blowers are only for decoration. Adding in that the climate is alien-approved is a real plus - I’m really looking forward to getting away from snow.

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